A seasoned mother once shared that one night, in the middle of the night, she came down the stairs and found her young daughter huddled in her corner rocking chair.
“Dear!” she exclaimed, “What are you doing?”
“I was scared, Mommy, so I came to your praying chair.”
The mother went on to explain that she had a daily habit of sitting in the rocking chair and reading her Bible and praying. It was such a habit that when her young daughter woke up from nightmares, the daughter’s immediate reaction was, “I need to go be with God in mommy’s praying chair.”
What a profound testimony of creating life-defining patterns of prayer for our kids! It’s only natural, as we learn the joy and freedom of a relationship with God, that we would want our kids to experience the same thing. But, the parenting years also seem to be some of the hardest to find space and time to spend with God. How do we carve out that space?
Be Intentional
Like any step in life – whether it’s exercise, eating habits, or relational goals – our success in prioritizing our prayer life begins with intentionality. It starts with sitting down and picking a when/where/what for our daily time with God. Let’s take the time to find that space right now.
When
Start by picking a time to pray and meet with God. Pick both a specific amount of time, and a specific time of day to pray. Start with a reasonable amount of time; over weeks, the more time you spend praying, the more time you’ll want to spend praying. So begin by picking a realistic goal. Perhaps your initial goal might be 10 minutes of focused prayer each day.
Next, identify the specific time of day that you’ll spend praying. This may be the hardest step as a parent, and will depend entirely on your family’s schedule. But don’t give up here! Spend a quick minute or two and consider your options.
Wake Up Earlier
Sometimes the easiest solution is to just set your alarm 10 minutes earlier and add the time at the very beginning of the morning. But there are plenty of situations where this won’t work: perhaps you don’t use an alarm! Maybe the kids wake you up each morning. Perhaps your kids are too young to make this option possible. Also, while starting your morning with prayer is a wonderful pattern, you won’t benefit in the same way if you’re spending time with God in a groggy state.
Stay Up Later
So, add the 10 minutes to the end of your day! This is usually a good option – heading to bed is a consistent, regular part of life. You could commit to kneeling at the end of your bed for 10 minutes before climbing in, or simply sitting in a chair before bed. But, beware! If you’re the type of person who doesn’t crawl into bed until you’re just about ready to crash, this might often leave you sleeping in that prayer chair.
Pray With Your Kids
You can choose to spend the time of prayer with your kids – either in the same room or at a set time. This would involve talking to your kids and making the intentional decision to spend the time praying as a family. Maybe you’d spend 5 minutes in private prayer, and 5 minutes in prayer as a family. Unfortunately, this option might make it hard to expand the time as you grow more comfortable praying. So, this could be an amazing habit to form as a family, independent of your personal habit of prayer.
Snag Some Screen Time
Or, perhaps you just set a daily time where you let your kids use screens – watch cartoons, play on a video game system – while you escape to pray. I get it – you want to limit your kids screen time! But I can promise that consistent time spent with God will be worth whatever the cost of screen time is for your kids. But, make sure prayer is prioritized! Say, “As soon as my kids start their screen time, I’ll start my prayer time.” If you wait and try to push prayer off, it’ll likely never happen.
Create a Morning Daily Rhythm
Another option is to build a time of personal prayer into your family’s morning routine. Maybe your family wakes up, putters till breakfast, and then does a series of chores? Why not add a 10 minute block in between the meal and the chores? Call it “quiet time,” and tell the kids they need to do a quiet, independent activity each morning. You get to snag that time and pray!
There are more options than these, but know that it is possible! If you see the value of daily prayer as a parent, make sure to find the time to make it consistently happen.
Where
The next question to answer is more simple, but no less important. Where will you pray? It should be private and relatively quiet, without distractions or interruptions. As a parent, you might consider making it a spot your kids might associate with prayer – or where they could at least see the habit of time with God being lived out (like the example at the beginning). But that’s far from necessary.
Don’t skip over the ‘where’ question! If you fail to answer this, you’ll find yourself untethered during the very important time you’ve intentionally carved out for yourself. Knowing a precise where means you can use that time to its fullest potential. Find your spot, settle in, and let’s ask the last question.
What
Finally, what will you pray for? What is this time going to be spent on? There are so many wonderful options, and models of prayer. But start narrow, and allow your time to mold itself over the following months.
Consider starting your prayer time focused on just two topics: first, your own faithfulness as a parent. Second, the spiritual health and wellbeing of your kids. As you spend more time praying, you’ll invariably add other topics and content as time allows, and you might explore other models of prayer that can be helpful. But make sure these two topics – your faithfulness and your kids – remain bedrock pillars in your prayer life.
One Final Step
One last encouragement! If you just set three goals – a when, where, and why goal for prayer, take a quick minute and text a friend, letting them know your goals. Ask for some accountability: “Would you check in on me in a week and see how I’m doing?” This added encouragement can move your prayer life forward by leaps and bounds.
Well? What do you think? Is it possible to have a vibrant prayer life at your parenting stage? Perhaps that’s the wrong question! Instead of asking, “Is it conceivable that I could build a prayer habit as a parent,” ask instead, “What might my family look like in 3 months if I did pray faithfully and daily for myself and for my kids?” Prayer is an invitation God gives to all His children – let’s not squander that gift. As parents, we have a high calling! Let’s embrace it faithfully.